It’s EXHAUSTING.
For years, I’ve wanted to start a TikTok and YouTube channel and be more active on this website. For years, I’ve wanted to become a self-published author. For YEARS, I’ve wanted to share my writing journey in hopes of encouraging others to have the life they’ve always dreamed of.
For years, I truly wanted to become a Writer, Reinvented.
I even bought the domain back in May 2022 with grand plans to create content with pages and pages of series ideas. But I never did. Why?
Because I was waiting.
Waiting until my life is under control. Waiting until my house was organized, and my to-do list was complete, until chaotic holidays had passed, and I had designed the perfect planning system. Waiting until I figured out my platform’s identity, what equipment to use, and how to design an aesthetically pleasing background for videos.
Waiting until I had at least two months’ worth of scripted content. Waiting until I get a grip on menopause and my recently diagnosed ADHD. Waiting until I was in great shape, my roots were dyed, my makeup was done, and I felt confident enough for the camera.
Waiting until I had made it to the other side, until I had crossed the finish line and accomplished my goals, THEN I would be ready to share with you exactly how I did this.
In other words, I was waiting until I was healed, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Waiting until I’m healed.
But here’s the thing about wanting and waiting: It’s exhausting. Being stuck in the in-between, trapping that voice within you, and knowing you’re not living your most authentic life is mentally draining.
So. Damn. Draining.
And one of the BIGGEST lessons I’ve learned from the recent TikTok ban, (besides the fact that our government truly can’t be trusted,) is this:
I can no longer wait.
I was NOT going waste any more time in the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s so, with only days left until the ban, I created a new TikTok account called Writer, Reinvented, and you know what? Even after doing the first two videos, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I felt purposeful. Accomplished.
And even proud.
I couldn’t wait to show my husband what I had done. Were those videos great? No. But that didn’t matter. I took action, I did something, and that deep well of wanting had diminished.
I felt a little … healed.
THAT’S the point. That’s how we get from the wanting to the doing to the done. That’s how we get from the starting line to the finish line … by taking all those steps in between, however messy they may be, however many times we backslide, however many times we fail and then pick ourselves back up again.
The healing is in the journey. And even though none of us know what’s going to happen with TikTok in 90 days and how long we have there, I do know this:
I’m done with waiting.
I’m going to share my stories and knowledge, and many, MANY lessons learned on as many platforms as possible from the perspective of a post-menopausal, ADHD AF mid-50 woman who has gone from unpublished to twice traditionally published, back to unpublished, and in the future … self-published.
And if you’re also someone who has been trapped in the wanting and waiting, please. Turn on your camera, start that blog, write that manuscript, and take that leap. Share your voice, share your stories, share your lessons learned.
We got this.