Which character from BEAUTY SHOP FOR RENT are you most like? Abbey, Granny Po, or the rest of the Gray Widows, Edith, Rosemary, and Caddie?
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION #1
You just found a fifty dollar bill on the sidewalk. Seeing how there’s no one around – and no way to find its owner – the money is yours, baby, all yours. What would you do with it?
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A. Put that sucker in the bank.
B. Find a Pampered Chef catalog and go hog wild.
C. Sounds like a shopping spree at PetSmart!
D. Splurge on those adorable leather gloves I’ve had my eye on.
E. Put a little something extra into the church collection plate.
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION #2
If you were forced to participate on a TV reality show, which show would you pick?
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A. The Apprentice. Watch out, Donald.
B. Oh, now, you can forget that! They’re all stupid.
C. Amazing Race. No, Survivor. I’ll eat a bug for a million, whatever.
D. Project Runway. Make it work!
E. Dog Whisperer, even though I don’t have a dog. That Cesar Millan is simply too adorable!
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION #3
What’s your favorite app on your cell phone?
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A. My bank’s. Access to my account 24/7!
B. Huh? What’s an app?
C. Yeah, is that short for Appaloosa, like my horse?
D. Honestly, Gray Widows, we’re not that old. And I happen to love Angry Birds.
E. Oh, I love appetizers, too! Although I’ve never heard of angry bird appetizers. Are they called that because they’re spicy?
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION #4
You accidentally broke wind in a very quiet – and public – place. What do you do?
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A. Glance at the nearest guy as though he did it.
B. Admit to the crime and say, “Yeah, it happens.”
C. Bellow out “Daggone those enchiladas!”
D. Remain a lady and act like it never happened.
E. Blush and apologize profusely. Over and over again.
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION #5
Congratulations. You’ve just had a baby. What celebrity name would you curse . . . er, I mean, bless it with?
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A. Are you kidding? Me, have a baby? This question isn’t even funny.
B. All those celebrity names are stupid. Pilot Inspektor? Fifi Trixibelle? Moses? Lord.
C. I don’t know, Robert Rodriquez gave his kids cool names. Rebel. Racer. Rocket. Roto-rooter.
D. Shiloh makes for quite a stylish name, actually.
E. And what, pray tell, is wrong with Moses?
RESULTS
If you answered mostly A’s, you’re most like Abbey. Strong-willed and independent, this girl can hold her own and will never rely on others for her own happiness.
If you answered mostly B’s, you’re most like Granny Po, the opinionated ring leader of the Gray Widows, a bunch of gals whose husbands have all passed, God rest their souls.
If you answered mostly C’s, you’re like Edith, a retired horse breeder with a love of old trucks, broken-in boots and who has a heart of gold, once you get by that rough exterior.
If you answered mostly D’s, you’re like Rosemary, always a lady, always fashionable with an eye for decorating, a mind for business, and a longing for proper behavior in today’s polite society.
If you answered mostly E’s, you’re like Caddie, a devoted Christian with a mile-long sweet tooth, a weakness for men in tool belts, and an inner strength she pulls out when necessary.