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Submission Confession

Yesterday, I chose to not post the following list I emailed to Pam in case there are still a few of you out there who do not realize just how weird I can be at times, especially when mailing a manuscript to my editor.

But Pam thought it was funny, so what the heck. If reading about my quirks makes you feel better about yourself, then perhaps it’s my civic duty to share, huh? So here it is, my . . .

TUESDAY’S TO-DO LIST

1. Drive to shipping station with manuscript.

2. Realize I forgot to print a cover sheet and cover letter.

3. Curse.

4. Curse again.

5. Park at shipping station.

6. Sit in van and decide whether to go home for cover sheet or not.

7. Come to the conclusion that I’m only being silly, my editor won’t care.

8. Walk into shipping station.

9. Walk to counter.

10. Look at manuscript.

11. Realize I am not being silly because the first page is full of text and looks chaotic without cover.

12. Realize the clerk is staring at me.

13. Complain about forgetting the stupid cover letter and how could I possibly forget the stupid cover letter?

14. Realize clerk is still staring at me.

15. Try to decide, should I mail or not? Mail or not? MAIL OR NOT?!?!???

16. Decide to mail and put book on scale.

17. Reluctantly give the clerk my editor’s address.

18. Listen to him give me shipping options and prices.

19. Try to decide, $16.00 for ground or $33.00 for Friday delivery?

20. Pay $16.00 for ground.

21. Sign credit card receipt.

22. Instantly regret decision not to pay more for the $35.00 for Friday delivery.

23. Ask clerk if it is too late to change delivery.

24. Ignore the look the clerk gives me.

25. Pay the additional $17.00 for faster shipping.

26. Instantly regret decision, but it’s too late, my credit card was charged.

27. Watch clerk take manuscript away.

28. Instantly regret decision to not go home for cover sheets.

29. Make plan to email cover letter to editor, ask her to include it.

30. Realize how unprofessional that would sound.

31. Make another plan to snail mail cover letter and send email apologizing for being unprofessional.

32. Leave shipping station.

33. Stew on entire drive to high school.

34. Pick up son from tutoring.

35. Go home, trying not to worry about cover letter.

36. No such luck.

37. Answer phone, complain about cover letter to husband.

38. Listen to him say how I should call shipping station, see if package went out.

39. Think how the clerk already thinks I’m crazy enough as it is.

40. Do as Bob says and call shipping station.

41. Yes, package hasn’t gone, no, they don’t think I’m crazy.

42. Think to self, “Yeah, right.”

43. Print cover sheet and cover letter.

44. Drive into shipping station.

45. Give to clerk who opens package and inserts it.

46. Profoundly thank clerk, reassure them I won’t do this again.

47. Think to self, “Yeah, right.”

48. Realize I need to start my next book and go through the whole process again.

49. Ask myself, “Why, exactly, am I a writer if it drives me crazy at times?”

50. Realize I am a writer because I love it, craziness and all.

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