Welcome, Rose! Grab some coffee, get comfy in the beautician chairs, and let’s get down to the gossip.
First off–when’s the last time you’ve treated yourself to a manicure?
Whoa, your people didn’t tell my people a hygiene inquisition would be part of this interview! Uh, well, I’d have to say, well years – as in fifteen. I’m an out-of-the-closet nail biter. But I treat myself in other ways regularly: tea, ice cream, gummi bears. See a pattern?
Oo-gummi bears. Great, now I’m going to be craving them. Next question! What’s the most embarrassing hairstyle you’ve ever had?
A perm during the 70s that resembled Luke Spencer from General Hospital. (And if you are too young to remember Luke, Google him. Now Luke and Laura, there was something hot ‘n heavy that folks gossiped about in the 1970s beauty shops.
Honestly, there should be a ban on perms! Okay, what hair styling product can you not live without?
A tangling pick. Otherwise I look like a sea urchin.
What beauty product can you not live without?
I love my all-natural, coconut-smelling conditioner. It works way better than that Suave 99 cents stuff my husband uses.
And while we’re chatting hair talk, Laura, I must tell folks how we are kindred novelists with beauty shop souls. In KIMCHI & CALAMARI, Joseph Calderaro’s mom and Aunt Foxy own Sheer Impressions, a happening ‘do shop in Passaic, New Jersey.
Very cool! We should get the Gray Widows and your Aunt Foxy together one time! Talk about a party . . .
You know what’s coming next, right? In my novel, the ladies have fun answering the “Hypothetical Questions of the Week” from their favorite tabloid. So here’s some hypothetical questions for you:
HQ #1: Which book published by another author do you wish you could have written?
Well that one about the boy named Harry would have been rewarding. But A Wrinkle In Time, now that is my cup of tea. Actually I’ve read it many times while drinking tea.
HQ #2: You magically find a $100.00 bill in your box of Wheaties. In what frivolous way would you spend it?
Ice cream for the e-neighborhood. Everyone who buys BEAUTY SHOP FOR RENT and KIMCHI & CALAMARI gets a free double scoop – with toppings!
Woo HOO! I like that idea!!!
HQ #3: Paparazzi are stalking you, looking for shots of odd things authors do while writing, or of rituals they perform before starting. What do they catch you doing, hmm?
Getting my kids onto the school bus, buttering a bagel, making tea, clearing papers. Really it’s the ultimate in ordinary. Don’t the paparazzi have someone more exotic to pursue?
HQ #4: You’ve been locked in a bank vault with that guy from The Twilight Zone, so you finally have time to read! What’s the first book you crack open? (And don’t worry—no one stepped on your glasses.)
The Brothers Karamazov. But I read it took Dostoevsky two years to write it. How long will I be stuck in the vault with this guy?
And now . . . the Lightning Round. No more than two words per answer!
Do you . . .
Outline or wing it? Half and half.
Talk about works-in-progress, or keep your trap shut? Talk away.
Sell by proposal or completed draft? Must finish.
Love to edit or cringe at the thought? Edit.
Prefer writing a new book or marketing the old? Love Newness.
Read your released book or no thank you, I’ve read it enough? Reread happily
And finally, because I’m nosy—what’s your favorite . . .
Time to write? a.m. with birds chirping and sun breaking through
Movie? Steel Magnolias (Let me guess, you like it too, Laura?)
(You’re a gal after my own heart!!!)
Book? No fair, just one — A Wrinkle In Time, To Kill a Mockingbird, Hope Was Here, The Grapes of Wrath, Missing May, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn..
Help, I can’t stop…
Author? Joan Bauer
Song? That’s Amore performed by Dean Martin
Pair of shoes? My ol’ Nike running shoes
Guiltiest pleasure? Nope, not telling….
Line from a movie? Do or do not. There is no try… Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back
Thanks so much, Rose, for spending time with me in the parlor! But we all want to know what that guilty pleasure of your is. Come on . . . you won’t give us a tiny hint? No? Okay, fine. 😉 Best of luck with your newly released novel and we’re all looking forward to that free ice cream!