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Shop Talk Tuesday with Carrie Jones

Today we have the lovely Carrie Jones, author of TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex)BOYFRIEND (Flux,) in the beauty shop. Carrie is a fellow Class of 2k7 member and my book sister since we have the same May 1st release date!

“From the first sentence of Carrie Jones’s novel I could tell that here was a bright new writer who was going to set the world of young adult letters aflame.” – Kathi Appelt

Amen to that! So welcome, Carrie! Grab some coffee, get comfy in the beautician’s chair, and let’s get down to the gossip.

You know the drill, Carrie. When’s the last time you’ve treated yourself to a manicure?

It’s so embarrassing, so terribly, terribly embarrassing, but I’ve only had one manicure in my whole, entire life. It happened when I was in Florida. And then, and then… I couldn’t get the fake nails off myself, even though I bought out the entire row of GET THESE FAKE NAILS OFF OF ME NOW products at our local Rite Aid.

I live in Ellsworth, Maine, and its hard to get a manicure up here, especially if you aren’t pro-dolphin decals.

What’s the most embarrassing hairstyle you’ve ever had?

The Bahama Mama hairstyle, where you have 8,000 tiny braids stuck to your head, and you suddenly realize:
1. To never get your hair done on a beach.
2. To never agree to a hairstyle on a beach after you’ve drank a pina colada thingy on a cruise ship.
3. That scalp skin that has never seen the sun before sunburns really, really badly when it does suddenly see the sun.
4. That you have a really, really ugly head.

But admit it . . . did you run down the beach and pretend you were Bo Derek? I would have. 😉 Okay, have you ever had a major hair disaster? If so, what was done to correct it?

I took out the stupid braids.

My characters have fun answering the “Hypothetical Questions of the Week” from their favorite tabloid, so here’s some for you:

HQ #1: For one day, time travel is a reality and you have the opportunity to visit any famous deceased author you want. Who do you pick?

There’s this journalist, Jean-Paul Marat, who wrote during the French Revolution. He had to write naked in the bathtub because his skin was so super itchy. Why was it super itchy? Lots of people think because he spent so much time crawling around in the sewers beneath Paris, trying not to get killed.

So, I’d like to go hang out with a rebel writer who is naked, itchy and running from The Man.

HQ #2: If you could hit the rewind button, which book published by another author do you wish you could have written? Which movie screenplay?

This is hard! Book? Feed by M.T. Anderson. I love, love, love this book but I would like to change the ending. Sorry Tobin.

Oh, or maybe Harry Potter not because I’d be a super trillionare but because it seems like it’d be so fun to write. Or Inkheart for the same reason. Or The Princess Diaries. Or Bad Kitty. They are all so fun. And then there’s…

I’m going to stop now.

Movie? Crash.

HQ #3: You magically find a $100.00 bill in your box of Wheaties. In what frivolous way would you spend it?


HQ #4: Your agent just called. TV execs are offering you a spot on a new reality show for writers. Do you say yes? If so, how would you be portrayed? (i.e. the boss, whiner, bore, paranoid-wreck, etc.?)

Okay on Writer Survivor I’d be She Who Can’t Start the Fire or Fish
On Writer Big Brother I’d be She Who is Bored to Death Sitting by the Dumb Pool All Day
On Writer Dancing with the Stars I’d be She With Two Left Feet
On Writer American Idol I’d be She Who is Totally Unsexified, but who smiles a lot.
On Writer The Real World I’d be She Who Witnesses Everyone Else in the World Hook Up While She Pines for the Gay Guy.

HQ #5: You’re a celebrity who just had a baby. If you were competing with other celebrities for the most bizarre baby name, what would it be?

Postum Drinksalot Jones or maybe Bartimaeus Trilogy Jones.

I once met this woman in the hospital and she named her daughter Pipsi Coleen for Pepsi Cola because that’s all she had while she was pregnant. Can you imagine being named after a soft drink?

HQ #6: Hollywood called—they’re making a movie based on your book. Which actors or actresses would make an ideal cast for your main characters?

Okay, Belle would be like Miranda Lambert, this country singer.
And Emily would be someone like Dar Williams crossed with Mischa Barton
And Tom would be if you took Dierks Bentley and made him younger and darker. Or maybe like Jack on Lost. Why do I not know his name? Or like the Alec Guy on Grey’s Anatomy.
Ack. I am so bad at actor’s names.
And Dylan would be sort of a blonde, younger Viggo Mortensen because I adore Viggo. Yes, yes, it’s true. He and Stephen Colbert are my two monster crushes. What does that say about me?

HQ #7: Paparazzi are stalking you, looking for shots of odd things authors do while writing, or of rituals they perform before starting. What do they catch you doing, hmm?

I am so not telling you that. Can you hold on a second while I pull down the shades….

HQ #8: You’ve been locked in a bank vault with that guy from The Twilight Zone, so you finally have time to read! What’s the first book you crack open?

The last Harry Potter book. It’s the The Twillight Zone, right? So it’s possible to have an advanced reader copy. Oh, gosh. Can you put me in that bank vault now?

The Lightening Round–no more than two words per answer!

Do you . . .
Outline or wing it?
Wing it.
Talk about works-in-progress, or keep your trap shut? Trap Shut
Sell by proposal or completed draft? Completed Draft
Love to edit or cringe at the thought? LOVE-love editing
Prefer writing a new book or marketing the old? NEW WRITE
Read your released book or no thanks, I’ve read it enough? TOO SCARED

And finally, what’s your favorite . . .

Time to write? In the mornings.
Movie? I am a movie slut and I love them all.
Book? I’m pretty much a book slut too. I get around.
Author? Too look at or to read?
Song? This is really not cool but right now it’s Nuovo Cinema Paradiso by Ennio Morricone and the old Dar Williams’ song, The Babysitter’s Here.
Pair of shoes? Flower felt
Guiltiest pleasure? Men
Line from a movie? “Well, there are some things a man just can’t run away from.” – John Wayne as Ringo Kid in Stagecoach

Thank you so much for stopping by, Carrie! Oh, and your crush on Viggo Mortensen? It says you have very good taste. Love him, especially in Lord of the Ring. My favorite John Wayne line is from True Grit: “That’s mighty bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!” Poor Pipsi, I hope she’s not in therapy right now, and we still want to know what goes on behind those lowered shades! 😉

Congratulations for today’s release and I wish you all the best with TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND!

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